Everyone has a story about the one who got away. Here is mine:

It was the late '90s, before I was 21, and I was able to get into Keenan's Irish Pub in North Wildwood, NJ with the help of an older friend's ID. There was a woman at the bar who was well into her fifties, and she was wearing a Darren Daulton jersey coupled with jean shorts. She had teased mall hair and was crushing Rolling Rocks. The thing I remember most though was the large tattoo on her calf of a venomous snake coiled around a heart with the word "Philly" on top. Her name was Denise, and she bought me a boilermaker.

This design is a tribute to Denise, the one in the Dutch jersey and the jean shorts with the big badass snake tattoo, and who I still carry in my heart. And now you can carry her close to your heart, too, with this badass tank top.

Denise, if you're out there and if you happen to see this - call me. I know you're probably like 80 now, and that tattoo has some sag to it, but I am confident we can pick up right where we left off and make it work.